“After 5 weeks when both of our babies had passed away and my arms ached with emptiness I began to mourn my loss and my shattered dream … But still I was confident then and now of God’s love for me.”

I was thrilled when I found out that I was expecting twins during my first pregnancy! Being a twin myself this had been my dream since I was a young girl.

Unexpectedly, I went into labour at 26 weeks, giving birth to a very premature son and daughter. It is challenging to communicate the whirl wind of emotions I felt at the time…love, hope, fear.

During our time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit our family, friends, doctors and nurses were surprised when my husband and I were at times able to smile, have a sense of peace and even joy during our emotional roller coaster with our babies. As their health declined there were days when I was overwhelmed and even wrestled with anger towards God. On those days I knew we were covered by the prayers of family and friends.

After 5 weeks when both of our babies had passed away and my arms ached with emptiness I began to mourn my loss and my shattered dream. I would not have chosen this path, it was hard and painful. But still I was confident then and now of God’s love for me. A year later our next son was born 10 days early and arrived the day before our twins birthday. God’s timing was perfect. We had a beautiful, healthy baby boy to love and celebrate.

As Christians we are assured that God is faithful.

“Dear sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed you will be perfect and complete needing nothing.” - James 1:2-4

- TRIXY

 

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